Lol, well I have a year of stuff to cover here don't I?

Well the last entry is about me asking out Kaci, which I did and we went out a month or so. Was really fun, I rang up a hella texting bill though but she was funny, talkative and good to look at too. I ask myself why I broke up with her and I think it was a combination of caffenne, seductress CNS girls and just not seeing her as much as i'd like. It was essentially selfish reasons and if for some reason she reads this i'm really sorry, and rather regret it if it makes you feel better i'd undo it if I could.

IN other news I almost went out with Krystina who i took to prom. But that didn't quite work out

Wow, so yea ever have a time you feel like a totaly and utter ass? Now's a time for me....

Current Mood: worried

So yea, back out of the medical center once more, I swear to freaking god I hate all the meds i'm on as much as they buy me time. Had one of those freaky looping nightmares and woke up in the morning with my Michael Crichton book ruined from all the tossing since I fell asleep with it. So my medication is very sensitive to heartrate, dialation of blood vessels, enzyme levels, liver activity which can be thrown off by extreme mood changes which I guess lately qualifies under. 

Had to go get checked again today as a now routine thing and the doc's didn't like what they found, they figured when the put me on medication since I was laid back this drug combination would be fine since i'm generally overly laid back about things. Thy had to run me through filtrration because levels of various things that I don't quite understand were too high, they checked again after an hour and found they were elevating despite w/e they did. I've been pulled off my Colitus medication which suppressed my immune system from killing me rather slowly until further notice with their figuring that i'll have a better chance for now that way off 6MP (that drug) but i've been put on something that'll drag out anything major happening for maybe a few months. Then my options are mind altering medications and the old regimine of drugs or the suggestion of a Rochester Doctor of an induced coma every month or so for a few days to simply maintain my well-being while the drugs are put through IV if nothing else works. Neither suggestion really thrills me. 

Of course this being a worst case scenario, and I'm feeling a little more happy now, though Hannah was being strange yesterday with the Tim thing, i'm more than fine with it because while talking to someone. 

I finally however don't like her anymore in a romantic way, and maybe have found someone I like and used to do so before. So we'll see how that goes if I choose to pursue it or work up the courage to. Would be great if she wasn't so damn uncomfortable around me, but that comes with time eh? Also her haircut freaks the hell out of me <_<

And god it feels so good to write all that down O_O   

There's some good life lessons to be drawn from all this too:
1) Doctors are god's among men
2) Things in Scrubs sometimes really do happen <_<
3) Franz Ferdinand sounds EXACTLY like the Beatles
4) Medications suck
5) All people have flaws
6) No girl's perfect after all
7) Seriously... been having to deal with 2 weird ones lately...

Being single is so much more fun XD

Current Mood: weird

Wow, crazy past two days...

My last entry I've thought about, and come to realize that I dont' really mean it, and I kind of feel like crap, she's still a wonderful girl who I want to honestly keep as a friend, everything always seems so right around her. 

But yea, this morning I felt like the Doc from back to the future when the terrorists found him going....

"Oh my God they found me, I don't know how but they found me. RUN FOR IT MARTY"  

Well... minus the marty thing, I don't know anyone named marty, except mr minor... Anyhow yea, the catholic girl, total creepy stalker, if you don't know whom i'm talking about, lucky fellow, long bad story. But yea, she's like "aww, you got dumped by that bitch finally!"  I A)wanted to kill her because she's never met Hannah, who's most deffinatelly not B) Wanted to kill her because that was insensitive enough to make me go into random shuddering rageness. C) Provoked me into saying that line i've wanted to use "Hit on me again and i'll certainly hit you"

Then proceeded to go talk to hannah, and now I felt like some closure, she didn't push me away when I hugged her, I felt rather more at peace knowing she doesn't totally hate me. 

Also there's alot of people who have been really nice and supportive, including Adam, and Tim, the Nick-duo, Amanda and Hannah herself for putting up with me. But two in particular I think I really underappreciated, Heather and Chrissy. They're deffinatelly the kindest, truest people i've ever met, and i'm honored to be their friend, they were so helpful. 

Anyhow I'll be busy the next few days with sci-oly, have to work extra hard now with only a bit over a week to go!  Huzzah!

PS: I've decided on my new alias. It will be 99 Red Knights

Current Mood: thankful

Is how long is lasted between me and Hannah. Am I crushed? Eh, a bit, we had a ton of fun, I don't regret a single day I spent with her, excluding pie day XD. Scariest thing I've learned is how easily that is all able to turn to hatred entire way home it was freezing out, but I was completely numb and couldn't really walk anymore, so I texted her, and she called and answered with a "What now" kind of voice. It hurt me to think she didn't care, but I guess she didn't anymore and that's why she dumped me. I had somehow foolishly thought for a long time someone like that could like me, that maybe I could get over finally all my past experiences with women in general, but it wasn't to be so. She somehow maintained the illusion of loving me for god knows how long, after I finally gave myself up completely to her as well, and held none of myself back, and here I am a few weeks later, months away now from being completely left alone in CNS, my best friends gone, but starting this year to make new ones. 

I could see her tomorrow, I just need to walk again through those cold streets and i'll see her there, with friends. But why walk through the cold to reach only the cold? Should I try to warm up that cold place again, what do I do, I know I could maybe, but I shouldn't, because I know that's what she wants. I need to find another warm place to stay, I need someone to poor affection into, because it's what I enjoy. I have other people that would want to go out with me, but none of them so perfect as the one i've just lost who, though maybe not to most on the outside, was beautiful to me, inside and out. This is just how life goes, and I need to move on, and it couldn't have been a shittier time to lose my head because of all the sci-oly stuff that's going on. I miss her... I thought maybe after we'd talked we'd be ok, i'm not, I want the Hannah I knew back, the nieve and cute and shy girl I first met and fell in love with. I wanted to deny it but she has changed, whether by my fault or not... but instead of changing for the better she has changed for the worst. 

With who she is now, I guess I really didn't love her as much myself... but I still feel like I lost the old Hannah in a way, and maybe that is why I still kept loving her, for who she used to be.

I wish I could go back and relieve the moments early on, when she was still that cute shy girl devestated over how no one would go out with her. The one who sqees on her LJ and lets everyone know someone just flirted with her. Somewhere that was lost, and that's the person I guess I really miss, not the over-confident open girl, but the mysterious quiet one, the cute one, not the beautiful one. I regret loding that person, and that's why I feel like crap. But then there's the new one who could dance, who could kiss, who would talk and laugh and poke fun at me constantly, I liked too. But I guess not as much.

I now turn again to looking for someone else, i'm not conceited enough to say she'll regret losing me, but if there's any of the old one left, she'll feel bad for me, and still want to hug me and make me feel better, and for now that comforts me alot....

Current Mood: crushed

Yea so I neglected all of November and December, ah well. Was a ton of interesting awesome things to happen but yea w/e =P

So Christmas was the most fun this year for awhile, especially Christmas Eve. Got invited to Hannah's Aunt's Christmas Eve Party and I thought I'd feel out of place but I felt really comfortable, and everyone was really nice and inviting, was an awesome Party, Even got a present from them which was really nice (yay charlie brown shirt ^_^). Finally found a decent old gaming system for Hannah even if I did have to go to some crazy shady stores to get it. Sega Genesis II Sonic2 combo pack In it's original Plastic and Box O_O and a CD as a backup in case she didn't like it. And she got me a Top Gun DVD and a Meaning of Life DVD and I fear i'm addicted to Top Gun all over again... XD Yay Tom Cruise

Anyhow last night was a new years party at Nick's, was a wicked fun night full of Ninja Ping Pong, Life... don't say "well I'd hope so..." THE GAME, and Halo pwnage.  Got all of GunGrave from Nick O_O No idea what it is but i'm watching it all today =P, an uber uber shirt from nick that says "Best in First Person". Can't wait to wear it O_O. Amanda's present was "Santa Claus conquers the Martians and an awesome photo album, really fun to go through and see what she put on the back, thanks so much!! ^_^  

Oi, almost forgot Christie/Pauls's Present.. still have to try it out but ah, looks like a better one. Though Never heard of Nightshift Nurses XD

But yea i've been pretty awesome the past few months, though now that the Holidays are gone i'll fall back into despair XD Anyhow School starts again tomorrow T_T Oh Noz!!

Yea so was really broing ths past weekend, didn't do anything productive at all. Did play with the leaf blower though, new high score on endless stepmania o.0 Never went to the anime con

Yea so Monday, finally got my packed from the RIT college of photography and graphics which I'm interested in. But would need to transfer from an engineering school since I don't really have a partfolio of work. And there was school.

Tuesday- Can't remember why it was a hellish day... ah there was jen and brendan and their issues. And had a ton of homework, barely made the scout meeting but finished my Cit. in the Nation Merit badge so just need one more for Eagle Scout.

Wed- No jen issues then? confusing. Anyhow was fun today, All my classes were easy, chem was basiclly a study hall.

Also realized most of the sophmores are the biggest bunch of... sluts? They flirt like there aren't enough guys to go around and it's scary as hell... like vultures, especially keep on upperclassmen. The guys need like a board with nails in them to hit them in the face a good few times...

Was also christmas in october today! whoosh, someone's going to kill me for saying that too. Anyhow also had the sci-oly meeting and didn't really do much of anything, garz

Anyhow i'm rather bored and have a headache at the moment, for some reason...

Tomorrow going to Hannah's confirmation and to her house after school hopefully, should be interesting. Saturday is my RIT tour and I get to meet the head of the IT college, rather freaked. Sunday will hopefully get to see Hannah as well, haven't gotten together in awhile.

I also feel strangely flirty now, generally will happen once a week, and since hannah's not on the urge is hopefully being negated by this headache that's getting alot worse, whoo

SO now I should go like find food, cyaz

Current Mood: flirty

Been a rather boring week so far. Lots of Homework to do, not enough time to have done it so one of my chem labs was late and never had time to read the AP chapter so I did bad on the quiz.

Rundown:

Sunday-Blah, nothing really happened

Monday- Some guy died that I knew kinda, rather surprising,more school

Tuesday- Boring, Scouts meeting where we talked kinda about the dead guy. Checked our NEW TENTS bwhahaha! *squees* While everyone else going on this weekends campout planned for a cowboy and indians outing, looked to be uber fun, but figured the anime con with hannah would be better.

Somwhere in here found out she can't really make it to the anime con so no real use bothering to go. Wasn't dissapointed at the time but probably will get so, kinda wished i had signed up for the campout and went up right after my PSATs saturday but will instead sit around doing nothing, Don't want another weekend of that >.<

Should try to get together with Andrew... or Evan to finish the fuzzy movie, or maybe amanda to try and get her to be less emo, ah well, will most likely end up toiling on the movie.

Wow... slightly off track there...

sooo...

Wednesday- Was a rather boring school day, but was the Senior-Junior football game! And Hannah was the center for the juniors so it was quite fun to watch. She pulled an amazing matrix manuever flying like at shoulder level for many feet landing on her back and doing one of those rag doll bounces like you see in movies. Otherwise she did really good for being a 3rd the the size of the girl she was blocking, was extremely impressed... But we still lost T_T was fixed.... Oh yea, btw, yes, my gf plays football, bwhahaha! It's interesting the bragging rights that gives me o.0

Thurs/today- Umm, nothing of interest yet, raid night though

Current Mood: satisfied

Yes I know I said I was going to tell you yesterday but I decided to procrastinate, and you can't do anything about it! bwhaha =P

And I like how every post I make yields like 3 comments, much nicer than blogger where someone would comment and it'd be them trying to sell me viagra...

Anyhow so I gave Hannah the necklace yesterday for our one year. I think she realy liked it, if nothing else it looks really good on her which wa my main worry in the first place. Guys should not shop for jewelry because you get alot of "Awww, how cuteee", it's worse than buying dance tickets XD Though I got them back for not paying for them, bwhahaha *evil face here* So it didn't go as badly as I though giving her it, and we went to the movies later and saw "Man of the Year". It would've been a good movie had they not made it to be... well here's my theory...

They tried to make a james bond kinda film which combines sex and cool toys(not those kind XD) and drama-action-killing, which i'm going to call an extremely successful combination of genres. Now on the other hand Man of The Year tried to combine that drama-action with... Robin Williams and comedy... It just didn't work, and the storyline was terrible. There were alot of good political points to the movie which i'm sure is why Nick liked it but come on, it was like combining apple pie with sour cream, sure you can eat it... but it's WRONG! XD

But it was an enjoyable time anyways, can never be that bad with Hannah around. So yea we wondered around the food area for awhile at Great Northern for awhile and that girl who had randomly came up to poke me that morning ended up there and doing it again, seems like an entertaining person, this was of course after the heated debate of wheter or not those plants there were real. Also saw Eileen and Geoff, whose new hair-style disturbs the masses, if Hannah and I count as a mass.

But yes, wow, a year. I'd never have thought possible at first, but I fell in love with her and here we are. She's the most awesome person i've ever dated, and probably ever will, and I'm really hoping for another great year and i'm sure there will be, i'm just happier than I have been in awhile whoo. >3

Current Mood: grateful

Summary of my long weekend:

Friday went to the football game with Hannah, was a new experience not getting "i'm going to eat you" (the bad kind btw) looks, really fun. Oh uh, yea the game, was sooo close. withus leading until the end when CBA pulled ahead by a touchdown in the last half and we ended up losing. But we gave them a real run for their money, quite happy with them.

Seven Friday Night Revelations:
1) I'm mormon
2) Geoff and Eileen do kinky things as decided by me, and scarily Eileen too >.<
3) Eileen humps you back
4) Making out = doing it
5) Erik is not cold
6) Yes he is ~Hannah
7) It indeed was cold

Yea so I went to the RIT Rochester Campus Saturday and it was just amazing as heck. We got a tour around the campus and were shown all the diffrent colleges, ranging from liberal arts and photography, to engineering and the pure sciences. The campus is really neat, though way to many brick structures, and lots of cool people. We went out with my cousin because they were building the college's 3rd mini-baja car for that club. They can manufacture everything on the car right there, my cousin made the transmission on a CNC machine from scratch, just like they made everything except the motor and shocks themselves. It apparentlly has the Kodak school of photography so I could pursue both in my stay there if I went. The dorms are crazy small but there's so many lounges and things scattered everywhere it makes little diffrence. There's like plasma TV's in everyroom and the entire academic campus is wirelessly networked, the cafeteria is pretty good. Only complaint being there seem to be almost no girls there. However everyone on campus seems to be highly intelligent and the student magazine rivals national geographic due to their highly prized printing press which can spit out all 5000 copies of the magazine in 2 minutes flat. The school also has this amazing co-op program with hundreds of companies vying for their pick of students, apparentlly highly prized. The facility is just so awesome, I'd really want to go there.

Revelations:
1) RIT has no girls, i'd totally end up coming out of the closet there...
2) Or i'd date one of the computers
3) They have computers better than mine laying in halls that they don't know what to do with because they're "too old"
4) Baja cars are neat
5) The Girls at RIT can date several people at a time and no one cares because there's a lack *nudge nudge amanda, much selection*
6) Car trips are boring


Sunday: Err, well.. uh, I went to Barnes and Noble. Saw Belinda there overachieving, did some more driving practice, not much here. Also played nick on C&C for awhile

1) The longer i'm alive the more dangerous I become
2) I should start using LJ
3) I should like... get together with Hannah, because I miss her
4) That was the wrong cell phone number

Monday: Did some of my eagle scout stuff, still trying to finally wrap that up so I can wear the cool badge for more than 2 months =P Then got together with Hannah and was quite fun as always with her. Also got chewed out again for biting my skin, which I never realize i'm doing in my defence. Did alot of driving as well that day.

Tuesday: Scouts Court of Honor, got my Shotgun and nature merit badges, odd combination eh? Otherwise tried to keep from dieing of boredom today. Probably should have done some schoolwork...

Current Mood: bored

Well I think I may actually use this now besides just commenting on other people since all my friends are on here and such, now to releard the interface T_T

Well I really don't want to bother with my LJ account. I just have it because a few of my friends have it and I would like to read theirs'.

What I do use is blogger which can be found here...

airhead8324.blogspot.com